Capsule Reviews – 2018 Part One

2018 is over blah blah everyone’s getting older and who gives a crap. Talk about games already.

Have not done one of these posts for some time – Q3 2010 in fact. We could probably pick up there and keep going, but why not attack 2018 first? To rejig your memories, Green means play it, Red means don’t. No sissy orange scores or fence sitting here.

In this one, we’ll cover things that came out this year that I played.

Subnautica
Farcical aquaitic ceremony Survival game where one is stuck on a planet that’s pretty much entirely water. Standard survival game stuff with limited resources early on, but the environment is what sells it for me. I’ve heard it becomes a bit of a wallbanger with whatever “progressive” message it’s trying to deliver later on, but I haven’t encountered anything thus far.

Shadow of the Colossus
Fantastic game but arguably unnecessary remake. At least they did a pretty good job – 60fps (mostly) in the performance mode on a PS4 Pro makes it nearly a different game. Also fun hearing the bleating of nitwits who played the ludicrously easy NTSC-U PS2 version whinge about the grip mechanics again.

Dynasty Warriors 9
I like Dynasty Warriors. I even like Dynasty Warriors 9. I wouldn’t recommend anyone else play it without knowing what they’re getting into. It’s an attempt at heavily changing up the Dynasty Warriors formula by making it open world. It tends not to work out much for Omega Force when they do that, see Dynasty Warriors 6. But hey, those other games still exist so no need to be a bitch about it.

Metal Gear Survive
Personally like this one, but wouldn’t recommend you play it without knowing what you’re getting into. Ignore the bitchy babies who can’t accept the fact Kojima isn’t involved and dismiss the fact that Metal Gear is in the title. Still plays like Metal Gear Solid V, just with some bloody annoying busy work which steadily becomes routine.

Assassin’s Creed: Rogue Remastered
Do you like Assassin’s Creed, but think the Assassins are a bunch of punk bitches that needed their throats slit? This one’s for you. Plays a lot like Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag, which while arguably the best one does turn into a bit of a grind, so don’t play it without like 2 years of playing that. Standard Ubisoft collect-a-thon, but you get to be the “bad guy”. Probably better off getting the original PC release since it costs less and runs at 60FPS and higher resolutions than this one.

Far Cry 5
It’s basically Far Cry 3/4 but set in America, and while the antagonists are all shitty people, they’re less shitty people than the support cast of Far Cry 4. Main antagonist is good, but not as good as Pagan Min.

Hyrule Warriors: Definitive Edition
Dynasty Warriors in Hyrule with all the DLC. If you don’t like those, you won’t like this. Also probably means that I won’t like you.

FAR: Lone Sails
Drive a slapped together vehicle across a desolate, presumably post-apocalyptic landscape, scringing together parts and fuel as you go. Linear and short, but fun while it lasts and not heavy handed with the messaging that a lot of these artsy wank some indies like to put in their games.

Red Faction Guerrilla
Fucking Smash Things Remastered. Hasn’t aged great, but remaster performs well enough, and you can still smash everything. Still boggles the mind to think that they thought Red Faction Armageddon was a good direction to pursue. No wonder THQ went broke.

Sonic Mania Plus
Sonic Team finally admits they don’t know what the fuck they’re doing, and got some people who do.

No Man’s Sky (Next Update)
Admirable post-launch support which turned this into a new game. Gives a strong impression. Dare to say I actually enjoyed it for 15 hours. Then it turns into a bit of a trudging grind of find MacGuffin X so that you can create Device Y to take a few steps forward in your journey, and repeat.

WarioWare Gold
Greatest hits version of Nintendo’s madcap mini-game collection. Maybe a little light on the Nintendo themed stuff.

Shenmue I & II HD
Kind of minimal remastering, not particularly well done, but the underlying games are two of my all-time favourites, and had more fun playing the original Shenmue now than I did in 2001. Should have done a bit more in terms of QOL improvements. If you’re going to bitch about dated mechanics, it’s a red (and you suck).

Marvel’s Spider-Man
You know how some games look and feel like they cost a shitload of money? Spider-Man is one of those. Helps that the underlying game is a fun open world superhero romp. Combat is a bit naff early on. Manage your expectations with story.

SuperHot VR
This is a slightly different game to the original Superhot (one of my favourites of 2016), but is an exemplary demonstration of modern VR. Power fantasy at its finest – makes you feel unstoppable. Bit light on content like most VR stuff.

Super Mario Party
Mario Party goes back to what works, so set expectations accordingly. Should allow me to use the pro controller, regardless of the fact it only needs a few buttons. Comfort, people!

NBA 2K Playground 2
Do you like NBA Jam? Would you like NBA Jam if it had its soul ripped out and replaced with a grind of microtransactions before you could play as any of the ballers you’d actually want to play as? If so, this might be for you.

Red Dead Redemption II
Refer to comments re: Spider-Man and expensive looking games. Nails the “dying days of the West” feel like the original. Half-decent plot for a video game. Morgan is a very likable character. Only thing that irks me, which applied to GTAV as well, as that there’s not a whole lot to do with money when you finally have some.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate
It’s Smash again, you probably know where you stand on that by now. Almost a red for removing the trophies and events, my favourite things from Melee & Brawl, and no announcements in classic mode seems a bit odd. Fuckload of content and characters.

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